There sometimes feels like there is never a right thing to say, and I wont lie to you, sometimes there isnt. But if someone with depression turns to you, heres somethings you can say that may help.
- “You will have good and bad days and i’m here for all of it” People suffering with depression may have days where you think you are starting to get that person back to normal, and then the next day you feel back to square one. Always remember that although this may be hard on you, its also very hard to deal with when you have depression. One step forward and two steps back is disheartening for everyone. But to reassure that no matter what waves they have to ride, you will ride it with them is sometimes all anyone needs to hear.
- “This doesnt change you as a person” One of the hardest things to hear when youre suffering with depression is someone else saying they feel like they have lost the person they knew and loved. When everyday is a struggle, we are already aware that we have lost ourselves. Just because you confirm that fear, doesnt make it easier to find ourselves, will just make us feel unloved. So help us feel like its ok to be lost, we will find our way home.
- “I know its not easy” there is nothing more infuriating than someone telling you you just need to get over it, or that you need to stop feeling the way you’re feeling, or that you are acting like an idiot. The one thing i can promise you is that living with depression is one of the hardest things to do. Fighting those demons everyday is exhausting. To hear someone say they know it’s not easy is like someone saying they are trying to understand. Its someone saying they care enough to feel your pain, and its reassurance you arent alone.
- “No matter what im coming to pick you up” Sometimes we bail, Sometimes we are flakey on plans. Not because we dont want to see you, but because we feel we arent good company, we feel that we dont have the energy to leave the house, we feel like we dont want to spend time with people. Now this point is down to the individual, but most people i know will actually have a good time out if you dont give up on them. Sometimes being forced to leave the house, even if just for 20 minutes, will make a big difference to that persons day. It encourages fresh air and someone to talk to, which could just about save that person one day and you’d have no idea.
- “Im always at the end of the phone” The amount of times I hear this but dont believe it. When i feel on the brink of suicide i scroll through my phone with the hope that one person who said i can phone anytime will answer. Hoping that I actually do have those people to talk to means the world. Because most the time its a distraction for whats going through my head. When you say youre always there, make sure you mean it, because i can guarantee that person will come to you when they are ready to, and when they need you.